It's a bit tedious; having your birthday, Christmas, and the end of the year fall in so closely to one another. No matter how cliche, you cannot help but reminisce, picking apart and dissecting your year as it played out. The bad, the good; old habits die hard. Among all of the self criticizing comes the pressing realization that i’ve yet another year to add- another decade to conquer; another building block on my [somehow] faithfully sturdy structure. I’d like to think that i’ve learned some things this year, that i’ve grown from what i’ve done. No regrets, no takebacks. I can’t pretend to have an idea of what my life is going to hold, or anticipate what mess i’ll make of this seeming “blank slate” everyone hopes to start out with on January 1st. I don’t know much about what impact i’ll make on this next year, or what it will mold me into. I’m not sure what tastes i’ll acquire, or what lives I will change. Not knowing is so humbling and exciting at the same time. Right now, I guess it doesn’t really matter if I know the answers.
I do know this,
There are still people out there who love me.
I still love avocado & tomato sandwiches and reading fiction.
Last night I fell asleep watching James and the Giant Peach,
and tomorrow is my twentieth birthday.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Bring it on, 2009.